My
mind starts to race
at
increasing increments,
a
pace so unrealistic my thoughts can’t keep up.
Arrange,
rearrange.
Arrange,
rearrange.
Constantly
changing,
but
not in cycles.
One
step closer and
my
nerves go haywire.
Hostility.
A
total mental chaos.
Anxiety
hits…
PANIC!
PANIC!
PANIC!
Arrange,
rearrange.
Arrange,
rearrange.
Constantly
changing,
but
it’s not a pattern.
Viciously
banging against my head,
my
thoughts can’t get a grip on
what
needs to be done.
Ever
so aggressively scourging my tongue
that
my teeth began to chatter.
Brain
freeze.
WAKE
UP!
I’m
awake,
in
a zone but not focused
…gotta
get focused.
KNOCK!
KNOCK!
It
exasperates intensely on my throat like
I’m
chokin’,
and
then it gets me nauseous.
SPIT
IT OUT!
Now
I gotta puke
like
a punk overdosin’.
Arrange,
rearrange.
Arrange,
rearrange.
Constantly
changing.
I’m
flipped like opposites.
Gemini.
Now
yin and yang.
STOP!
Now
im feeling woosey.
One
step closer…
WARNING!
YOU
ARE NOW OVERDOSIN’
OFF
A DRUG THAT GETS YOU OPEN!
One
step closer and it all replays…
PANIC:
arrange, rearrange.
WAKE
UP: I’m woke. I’m in a zone but not focused. Gotta stay focused.
KNOCK
KNOCK: it hits so hard off my throat like im chokin’.
Arrange,
rearrange.
Arrange,
rearrange.
One
step closer…
SPIT
IT OUT!
I
take one final step
and
say…
“Hi”.
hehe i know this probably has nothing to do with why you wrote it this way but this is exactly how my mind feels when im writing. trying to grasp one concept and then another one popps up in my head over and over so much that my hand is writing faster than,... well than as you put it "a pace so unrealistic my thoughts can’t keep up." then the english teacher in me starts to "arrange and rearrange" constantly through the whole proccess
ReplyDeleteLove the emotion and panic felt in this. Totally miss seeing you perform, Ana. Keep it up; will be looking for more!
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