POETRY: 'Crushed Ice' by Trinity

Burning coal used to ignite and keep my heart lit with an imperishable fire.

But as the seasons changed

so did the temperature and form of my flames.

Time allotted our love to grow older…

I mean grow old,

slow

and tired.

 

How is it that I can maintain a love so strong for someone who hates me...

I mean, who doesn’t care?

 

See, that’s where you’ve all been wrong.

The opposite of love is not hate,

 it’s apathy.

For at least with hate there is a sense of emotion;

a part of you resides with them in their hearts;

you’d make their hearts burn with some kind of fire for you.

But since he no longer cares

that means that my actions are neither here nor there,

I am just air

and space for his nostrils to breathe in

and then exhale,

and that burns more than anything.

 

My heart has smelted…

I mean my heart has hardened…

No, I mean, my heart has been melted to stone…  

My heart has melted to stone but it’s not hard…

I mean, it’s not hard enough to be marble or granite;

it’s too brittle…

too fragile to be that strong…

to be strong enough to let go.

Too brittle…

too fragile…

like ice.

Yes, like ice.

 

Even in my weaker state

I tried to love you,

but you trampled over me

and my attempts to spark a flame.

Sparking a flame with ice…

how desperate.

But nevertheless

I have been rejected

and am crushed.

 

I loved you with a fire red,

but now it’s turning blue

as the seasons change…

My heart’s inferno refreezes

over and over

every time you turn a cold shoulder…

which seems like every day.

Now every day

is just another cold day…

I mean, just another cold day in hell.