I feel like an addict,
you know.
i need my fix
i need my fix
feeling these insatiable erges
telling myself no dont do it!
your better than this.....
like im trying to hide this identity in my mind
only for it to reserect new thoughts in my head
and,
and
implode!
Waking up outta my sleep i feel so guilty
like id just committed the ultimate crime to myself
but all i did was dream.......
fantasized about lifes most lustful plesures
doubted myself and worse of all God
saying why is this happening to me Lord......
have i broken 10 the commandments given to me?
have i forsaken thine Holy name Lord........?
what is it.......
you promised to protect me from this infatuated world Lord
but right now the only thing i need protection from.....
is me....
i cry
feeling internally conflicted
binded by the feelings of my heart ,
and restricted by the inclinations of my mind
So Confused!
not knowing wether to be mad at myself
or sad because i cant control what i feel on the inside
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