It’s
not weakness due to weakness that I fear;
I
am scared of weakness due to purposeful vulnerability.
I
have opened myself up like a book,
allowing
him to read me from cover to cover,
inside
and out,
but
are my fears irrational?
Am
I over complicating this idea of blind love
that
makes me suppress my intuition?
Retiring
my ability to read others,
not
because the characters on their personality manuscript are foreign to me,
but
because I have become dyslexic,
scrambling
thoughts and actions
that
may look like one thing
and
be something completely different.
Is
it fair that there is a pain in this world
that
has no cure except time?
Not
knowing when or how
to
calculate the distance I need to travel
to
get away from pain,
since
speed is too slow
and
time is too long.
It
scares me because my misery
is
left to prorogue in boundless hands.
So…
are
my fears irrational?
What
makes sense then?
Do
anticipated uncertainties make sense?
Uncertainty
is ignorance, correct?
Surely,
we could agree that it’s rational to fear uncertainty.
It’s
rational to fear what you don’t know…
anticipating
what you don’t know…
becoming
aware of what you don’t know.
In
matters of the heart,
is
it rational to fear becoming aware
of
what you don’t know
when
you think you know everything
as
it pertains to your lover?
There’s
a name that fits…
secrets.
Is
it rational to fear secrets
when
you stand with a heart wide open…
when
you stand with a sore wide open?
Think
about it…
As
long as hearts can be broken,
I will continue to act confused
due
to my irrational fear of misplaced confidence,
all
in the name of purposeful vulnerability…
all
in the name of love.
This
is rational.
