When I saw her,
She walked with a walk that,
shunned cordiality and dissuaded hello's,
but ushered in condescension and feelings of,
"I'm too cool for you."
Never knowing the Real Her
I took to ill wishes and expressions of disapproval,
cross-examining with my mental microscope
every single infinitesimal flaw I could find
within my narrow minded vision.
The malicious gaze that I threw her away,
Snide glares and stares enough to curtail Medusa
simply ricocheted off her frame,
She stood unfazed,
Like the Messiah amidst persecution.
She never knew,
And I refused to see,
That I hated her for what I perceived her to be rather than
what she actually was,
Letting preconceived notions constrict and cloud my mind,
I saw only the shell,
And not the essence that resided within.
But I persisted,
With the antagonistic encounters that were consistently countered
With aloof indifference,
Our psychological tug of war continuously pulling in her favor
Until the day she passed away
I sat in those aisles as loved ones,
Piece by piece,
Began to paint the vivid picture that embodied her life.
"She was so kind and loving" they said.
All the while my mind spinning in a thousand different directions
thinking thoughts that subconsciously I had already known.
I knew her,
But I didn't know the Real Her that
was buried underneath the Her that I formulated within the deepest recesses of my psyche.
I felt out of place amidst well wishers who cried,
With open hearts,
because they had lost someone they loved,
While I cried because I lost someone I didn't know,
but still shunned,
A realization that stung and cut deep with deadly precision,
I envisioned, how differently things would have turned out
If I had looked into her heart
And saw past my mind's deception,
The artificial labels I placed with righteous indignation would be discarded
Like forgotten memories.
And I would finally be able to see her for what she was.
I would finally know the Real Her.