POETRY: "Trippin’ Over a Major Revision" By Cheryl A. Baldwin

Family problems
         Pain and fear
Anger in my heart
Rage screaming in my ear.
I wanna get away from here,

So I'm trippin' out of my comfort zone
I'm on a quest to find my piece.
There's no lookin' back
It's time to release.

Time to be more honest
No breaking this promise
In search for solace
No more censoring this goddess
Because it is my soul that needs to be the strongest
Not my relationship with you, you in or my significant other

I had to be tougher

I had to let them suffer

I was being their buffer for way to long!

I tried to be a cushion for everyone else’s pain

But after I changed I began to have shame

For when I wasn’t there

They had no one to blame.

Inadequate is what I felt

Left my family and friends all by themselves

But I had to be stronger for them.

No leader is a leader when they are leading their followers to water, only to drown.

Onward I race

Impatience is what I face

Trembles when I realized that the memories I can’t erase

A recollection of those around me

Those moments I had people surrounding

But now it’s just me.

All alone in this peace of mind. 

Absent from the mind and pace, I look to my grace

I ground my knees to the floor and I start to embrace

Myself in all his Glory.

hooooohaaaaaaah! I feel better.

I’m trippin’ over a major revision

I’ve had to make some major decisions

My former self and I just had a major division,

But it’s ok

Because I envision greatness.

A better self

A better sister

A better daughter

A better friend

A better Spirit

A better Lover

A better Leader. 

POETRY: "Trippin'" By Cheryl A. Baldwin

soft red with a hint of brown.
Cocoa butter scented,
like I’m doused in chocolate’s air.
Cocoa cosmos
In place inside of my life.
in a place,
…but I don’t know where.

A blossom of problems I try to forget.
Cold nights during summer days, I awake every morning
feeling what's left of this regret,
...but fret not
I am leaving.
                                                                                                                                                                                 
 I’m trippin’ out of town.
I’m on that Holy Bible high away
Far away on a deep brown quest
I left my past behind me.
drifted away to find redemption
ambitious girl.
In a place with no definition
                                                                                                                                                                                                Like rainbows I follow a pathway through the sky
   An unknown reality it, makes me feel
              Blissfully beautiful I,
Feel a presence.
A reverent essence.
                                                                                                                                                                                                          I reach trying to grasp.
            A caffinated excitement awaits
But a life of mistakes
Is but an empty lake
And I know my cup runneth over,
But my soul is beginning to break.

My thoughts begining to quake
and then I awake those silent undertones of spirituality.

    The Lord hath not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, a sound mind, and of power.
So wait my little dove. You will blossom into a flower.
Someday you’ll see the soft red with a hint of brown, that cocoa butter scent.
Someday you will remember the high and you won’t have to lament.
Someday you will remember to puff, puff pass the loneliness and regain the bliss.
So dismiss your worries and keep on trippin’.
Up under and over the trials, if you must,
But trust no matter how many miles, Salvation will be amiss.

I know for a fact I am right handed,

I know I will never become a professional soccer player overnight,

I know with absolute certainty no matter how hard I wish my sister will never disappear.

I know each time you think of us,

You think black,

I know you whisper,

As if your quiet words don't travel into a shout,

I know you place a banned stamp on poetry,

As if the freedom to write,

the freedom to speak,

the freedom to express,

Is determined by color of ones skin.

I know you sit and wonder, 

how does it work, 

how does it feel,

are they magical?

I assure we are not.

We write to simply express.

POETRY: "Can We Just Be Friends" By Cheryl A. Baldwin

Can We Just Be Friends

       Fell in love again,
but this time he's a friend
     won't you lend a hand?

Smoothe lines
Dark skin
So I asked a friend
"Should I risk giving up my heart again?"

his breathe smelled like warm milk in the morning
That cradle of skin
Ooh... my friend,
This love we could not pretend.

I want you to learn my heart
get to know me before you come in
     are you ready? :)

No sex before marrage
yeah I'm "that type of Christian"
Don't attack me with your kisses
My sensuality comes from within.
                       Relax!
My pending body
he thought I was hiding from sin
But still he said
"OK best friend"

He said tongue kisses were the trend
day by day he would recommend
no harm did he entend but,
         Temptation created tension
He said "I want to feel the motions of your emotions."

        Imprisoned by our love I began
to put you before my faith
and you before my friend
I felt it in my heart,
But I didn't want it to end
        So I said,
"Do you feel the same way about me, about us?"
              Can we make ammends?

Restless lips and restless hips baby said,
           "It depends."
      I was hurt.
Mistook his mentality for his maturity
Went through so much to let him in
I still didn't want this relationship to end
            Can we just be friends?

So caught up in the maddness I had forgotten how silly you had been
That cradle of skin
So I take my broken heart
And I give it to you again.

POETRY: "Weak Man’s Prayer" By Cheryl A, Baldwin

As I lie in my bed, I start to dream. Deep thoughts arouse in my mind. I start to sink into a world unknown…
I imagined his silhouette so strikingly beautiful. A heavy, strong fellow I would say. Tempting to the mind and tantalizing to the taste, I knew that this quest was too much to handle, but I couldn’t stop. I was too far gone. I didn’t know what I‘d gotten myself into but, I didn’t belong. “Lord help me,” I say, “This is beyond my powers…” I flip open a bible to the book of psalms, “Make haste, O God, to deliver me; make haste…”

  Weak Man’s Prayer
“Make Haste Oh God to deliver me
Make Haste Oh God I Plea
You see
My life is Shattering
And no joyful praise there can be
So make haste oh God, Make haste oh God, Make Haste Oh God,… for me.”
                                                                                                   -Cheryl A. Baldwin


Imagined his silhouette I,
 Imagined it heavy,
I imagined it strong
I, imagined it…
Stepped into a world too much for the senses
The mind
        The soul…
              Left feeling
Raped by his heated figure and
Moistened by the sweat on his tongue
        I get down on my knees,
and pray to the Heavens that I was wrong.
That my sheets weren’t just hydrated
That my mind wasn’t just gone,
                again
and again I pray to the Lord that I was wrong.
That my bubble guts didn’t just
                Pop!
and fade away
That my life didn’t just began a new song
        “Caught up in the rapture of love”   
                But I don’t belong...
     I’m in a world without my God.
and I’ve been here too long
        Loved everything he did to me, but my God, he knew, this journey I shouldn’t have come along.
So I pray and pray, that I was wrong.

I prayed and prayed that it was still a dream, and that I had just imagined everything that this world had to offer. I prayed all night long. I envisioned the disappointment of the Lord, and didn’t want to be a part of this anymore.                                                                 Well… to end my story… I guess, I knew I was wrong. I knew that, what I had done in my mind had somehow resurrected into reality, and I knew I was too late … It felt like something I couldn’t even pray for…But I did.
As I flip my eyes to the next verse, I pray in synchronized prayer, “But I am poor and needy: make haste unto me, O God, thou art my help and deliverer; O Lord, make no tarrying.

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POETRY: "Sammy" By Cheryl A. Baldwin

You've written them down, but your

thoughts haven't left your heart yet.

So shy, so shy

Dont cry

Just let go Sammy.

I see you frown through your smile

I have to be tough, rough

You've been there for a while.

Spaced out in your own zone

Left in this definitive state. you've

sewn.

For yourself

Through life's quilt of problems.

Left to figure out what's best.

No time to rest cuz its their lives in

your hands.

Walking through Your mind alone,

grab my hand and hold

tight

You wont be on your own

We are here.

So shy, so shy

Dont cry.

Just let go Sammy.

And my luck wont last, cuz it's

Remembering the past.

Possibilities of what hasn't been

said

I am angry, I am scared.

Weaving through your life,

You, are the thread.

Beauty on the inside and out.

Power is what's ahead.

Strength is what's in your future, in

your body, in your head.

So shy, so shy

Dont cry.

Just let go Sammy.

But I'm not the one to preach

Be the guidance that you seek.

Your mind can't illustrate your words, your heart cant weep

So you must speak.

Poetry as my way to freedom

POETRY: "Just Step Out On Faith" By Cheryl A. Baldwin

2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.


Just Step Out On Faith

I'm afraid to step out on faith
so tired of ridicule and hate 
so into this state of mind that 
I would risk my chance at eternal life.
but dont judge me.
because im,
Im getting there.

So afraid of what's on the other side,
So I cover my face and hide.
Afraid to let loose the confidence inside of me.
afraid of what will be there
Head slouched in prayer,
Oh Lord please Comfort me!
Im getting there...

Im aftaid to step out on faith.
Literally and physically you see.
Stuck in this world of being nice all the time that i had forgotten about MY goals.
Forgotten about what I wanted to be in life.

Im afraid to step out on faith because the last time I left my comfort zone I got stepped on.
Like a roach in my mom's attic 
I was too small for my own good.

afraid to step out on faith.
afraid to let the ones that I love see the true me because life isnt as polite as i thought it was.
afraid to trust because
you had broken a trust that was already in shambles.
afraid.
afraid of what's to come after
all that has happened.
So I give it to you.

Im afraid to step out on faith, 
but the more you break me down the closer i get to the floor.
As i drop down 
On one knee
Two knees
I humble myself to the Lord.
I gasp my troubles away.
My Lord my God you were right there!

look in the eyes of your spirit, Cheryl
step out on faith
you hold the power
step out on faith
miracles can happen
step out on faith.

Im afraid to step out on faith.
but dont judge me.
Because im,
Im getting there